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Second Night’s Reading

 Making Contact with Brahman

From The Notebooks of Peter Seeker

It was ten years since my first discovery. Many universities were continuing the research and slowly more had been uncovered about the action and activity of the signal. It could be measured, graphed, traced from generation to generation, and in some cases even amplified. But after a decade no one understood anything more about its true nature or origin. The scientific community claimed to have made great strides in understanding the nature of the Real Idea. But, in fact, its knowledge was limited to external form and function. I encouraged my colleagues to continue their efforts, though I had lost interest in the mechanics of its operation.

I shifted my research to the field of subtle communications. I felt if Brahman existed, it must be in another dimension where all aspects of life were subtler. If Brahman existed in our Reality, it would have been found. The signal would have been traced and science would have located its source in the universe. Since this had not happened, I felt the signal must have a source in another dimension. Therefore our goal was to establish a means of communications with other dimensions. At first my approach was considered radical, but I had anticipated my critics’ arguments. I argued that science for too long had been fascinated exclusively by the realm of physical existence. I said science had not been objective enough to turn its gaze to the less material side of existence with the same zeal. Many questioned my approach, but the importance of my original breakthrough prevented them from cutting my funding now. I was tolerated and considered eccentric. My work was considered fringe science.

It was late in December when I introduced a new approach into our experiments. For years, I had used our technology to quiet my mind, but there it ended. As we continued our efforts I had become aware of an ascending range of subtle capacities in my mental structure. At first, I could only sense these grades, but later I was able to document their levels and characteristics. Late one night after everyone had left, I sat perplexed by our lack of progress. I decided to step back from my work and relax. I hooked up the device and began an experiment with a new perspective. I was simply going to go into the silence of my mind and find a point to relax. When my concentration reached its peak, I felt totally relaxed. I imagined throwing myself into this quiet. I was not going to think about Brahman. I needed to find a space for my mind to rest, so a new direction could emerge for my work. I waited in deep relaxation. My center of concentration suddenly rose up until I saw the border of my mind.

At that point, I waited until my concentration collected itself. Suddenly, I became aware of a great abyss in front of me. I threw myself into that emptiness. To my great surprise, I found I had risen above the border of my mind. Quietly my center of concentration fixed on a far off light. I observed myself but did not let a single thought disturb my mind. In this vast silent inner world, I waited and the light came pouring in. What was this light? Where did it come from? What did it mean? A few unspoken and unarticulated thoughts passed across my mind, but they never took form, even though I felt them. I stared into the light and was lost in its brilliance. 

In the morning my associates found me sitting quietly in the lab area. Without disturbing me they started checking all of the instruments, which had been recording my experiment for more than eight hours. I sat unmoving, so they waited. It was more than three hours before I returned to normal consciousness and unhooked the device. My associates found me quiet and withdrawn, but cheerful. Within a few hours, I returned to normal. I went home and had a shower and breakfast. I was not tired, though I had not slept all night. My mind was still, I was calm and my mind felt as if it knew something, though I did not know exactly what it was. When I returned to the lab, my associates had analyzed much of the data. They had even been able to print out images of bright lights that had appeared in my mind while I was in the deepest part of the experience. Everyone was excited, though we had no idea of what to make of it. For days we studied the information and data. For days I tried to make out what had happened to me. I told them about the border in my mind and the steps I had taken to go above it. Everyone in the lab tried to replicate my results, but they only reported the normal experience of quiet, which the machine had produced for years.  

It was more than a month before I decided to repeat the experiment. I knew I had made progress, but its significance did not reveal itself. I began again late at night when there were less distractions. The machine assisted me as it always had in quieting my mind. I remembered the need to be patient and to give up all of the thoughts in my mind. Unlike the earlier experiment, I quickly felt my mind enter the higher regions I had experienced previously and within moments my mind was full of light. It was brilliant. It filled me with a sense of completeness. I wondered if I had established contact with Brahman. I waited. The light continued and its intensity grew. In less than three hours, I regained my normal consciousness. As before, I felt a deep sense of quiet and power in my mind. I sat and reflected. Maybe the light was just one form of communication with Brahman. I wondered if a new form of knowledge was trying to make itself conscious to my mind.

During a period of four months, I continued my effort to reach the light and understand its meaning. Throughout these experiments I maintained detailed notes of my experience and the feelings they produced. Slowly during this period, I found myself understanding things that had not been clear to me before. My colleagues noted a change in my perception, which was very useful in our research. I felt more creative. I had more ideas and they were not as scrambled as usual. Was this Brahman? Was the light part of the signal? Where did it come from? All of these questions remained unanswered.

I continued my efforts for more than a year, but I thought my work had come to a dead end. It was at this moment I challenged my mind to go beyond the light. When I did this, I found myself in a realm of my mind filled with silence. The higher part of my mind became so still at times the universe seemed to lose its reality. There was nothing but silence. During these experiences, I could see sound emerging, though it did not disturb the silence. Were silence and sound the same? Did they come from the same place? Were they two different sides of the signal? I was not sure, but I continued to notice a change in my perceptions. My ideas were more powerful and precise. In a few moments of silence, I was able to complete a week’s worth of work without effort. My mind was still and yet awake in a new way I had never experienced before.

I encouraged others in my group who had been able to extend their awareness beyond the original boundaries of their mind to explore these regions of light and silence. Occasionally someone reported having an experience similar to my own. But results were hard to replicate in others. Why? Was the higher part of my mind more receptive? If so, why? Were there conditions for entry into these regions? Were these planes of mind more developed in some people and less in others? I had many questions and few answers. My colleagues collected enormous amounts of data and evidence, but still we could not say we had found the origin of the signal.

Then one day I tried a new experiment. I used a recorder to replicate a sound image of my own signal. I amplified the sound signal and passed it through a set of earphones. The sound was familiar to me. I felt I knew it though I could not say from where. Could this signal be used to trigger my mind into the dimension of Status? If so, what would be the effect? Would it act like a beacon and lead me to its source? I recorded the signal from someone else in the lab and listened to it. When I played that signal, it did not create the same feeling. I found some parts agreeable while others were disturbing. Maybe everyone had a unique sound signal. I decided to try an experiment. I would wear a set of earphones playing my signal throughout the process of quieting my mind and rising into its higher levels to see what effect it would have. I decided to be the first subject in the experiment, in case there were any negative side effects. I set up the equipment and began late at night as usual. My mind went quiet almost immediately even with the sound of my signal playing in the background. I felt my concentration race to the higher levels of my mind and to my great amazement I soared to a realm of my mind that startled me. Where was I headed? What was the signal doing to my mind? I felt calm, so I did not let anything disturb me. I simply let myself go. I gave myself to the experience.

Light, followed by silence, followed by peace, followed by voices. Where was I? What were these voices saying? I waited and let my awareness find its own center. Finally, it settled in a place I had never experienced before. I felt safe here. I felt close to a new discovery. Without words I seemed to know where I was. I felt that I was closer to Brahman than I had ever managed to reach before. I knew inside myself I must be patient. I must remain centered. I must give myself up to whatever happened. My associates found me connected to the machine again in the morning. I remained in this state the whole day. At night they thought of disturbing me but the signals showed no alarming trends. They decided to wait. I remained in this state for almost two full days.

I emerged from this experiment with a sense of possessing a vast knowledge. I felt that a connection had been made. I was different. I knew, but I could not express it. I understood but could not speak. In fact, at times I felt speaking got in the way of what I knew. What was this knowledge I was feeling? How could I explain it to my colleagues? I knew I was making progress after I added my sound signal into the stream of communication. My mind was full of knowledge that found no expression. I needed others to follow me along this path. For three months all of my colleagues tried the same experiment over and over again. They played their signal and went though the same process I had attempted. The results were mixed. Some had increased experiences while others remained completely untouched by the improvement. Did this mean my experiences were atypical and therefore unusable for scientific validation? I was missing something fundamental that had to be addressed if we were to achieve the final breakthrough.

During these periods of increased testing, some of us began to report having experiences similar to ones we had had on the machine in our sleep or in the evening when we were sitting quietly. I found I was falling into periods of mental quiet that lasted for hours when my mind went still and my sense of self climbed up into the realms of light or silence. It was not quite the same as with the machine but it was very close. Suddenly to everyone’s surprise, I decided to close the lab for three months. I wanted everyone to get away from the lab and the work. It had been five years and there had been little time for rest or relaxation. At first, everyone was shocked but within a few days they agreed a break was a good idea. Everyone made plans and within a week the team was traveling across the globe. Some traveled to distant lands for adventure and exploration. Others rented cottages near a lake and planned to swim and boat for three months.

I was not sure why I had closed the lab but I felt it was important. I needed something to help shape the next phase of our work. I needed inspiration. At first, I stayed at home and filled my time with silly things. I repaired the house and made arrangements for some improvements. I spent a few days traveling. I renewed old acquaintances to see what colleagues had been doing for the past five years. After a month, I decided to call Leela to see if he was available. I thought of visiting him in India. I had not spoken to him in a few years and it would be great to renew our friendship. Maybe he had some ideas for the next phase of my work. I called the last number I had in my phonebook and learned he had gone on a pilgrimage with some close friends and would not return for a month. I asked if they knew where he had gone and if I could join him. They said everyone on the retreat had taken a vow of silence for the entire duration of the pilgrimage. They were now staying in a remote temple in northern India where anyone was welcome, but I should understand he would not greet or speak with me if I went to the temple. I was interested in seeing my friend again, but I was not sure if this was the right circumstance. Something inside me urged me on. Within a few days I made arrangements and flew to northern India.

It was a three day walk from the closest road to the temple. I was received by one of the monks from the temple. As we set out for the temple, I felt a deep sense of quiet settle over me, similar to feelings I had known in the lab but never in real life. I walked the whole day with the monk and never spoke a word. We both seemed to know what the other was thinking and feeling. In the evening, we camped near a river. The quiet flow of the water created a delightful sense of rhythm. In the morning, we bathed in the river before setting out. After an hour on the trail I sensed we had changed direction but knew we were headed for the right place. For four more days we journeyed without speaking. Each day we went deeper into the forest.

On the fifth day, the monk and I came to a small hut near the edge of a grove. It was empty, though it seemed ready for us. We settled in and fell into a silent rhythm of monastic quiet in the depths of the forest. Neither of us spoke. Neither of us felt the need to speak. One morning I found the monk seated near a great stone. I joined him. We sat. I remembered my experiences from the lab. My mind found a new depth of silence. I rose to heights in my mind I had never seen on the machine. I dwelt there in a serene peace for what seemed like days. My mind was still and I could feel something drawing me beyond my present sense of self. I gave way to it and let my mind fly higher than it had ever gone before. I passed beyond what I knew as mind and found myself in a place I could not describe. I knew, I understood, I saw all of the signals emanating from this place. I could see them. I saw their power. I felt their joy of expression. I felt a great rhythm and harmony amongst all things. This was Brahman. After living in this experience for days, I knew what I had to do next in the lab but there was no need to act just now. The monk and I spent one month in this quiet solitude dwelling in Brahman, until one day he rose and led me back to the road. When we reached our destination, the monk smiled, bowed, turned and walked back into the forest. I never saw him again. Who was he?

I reached a hotel later in the day and called the lab. Some of the team had returned early and were ready for work. They were restless. They were glad to hear from me. I made arrangements to return and within a week I was back in the lab. I had seen the answer and now I must re-open communication with Brahman through the device. I tried and tried, but nothing worked. I had seen it, but it did not come. I knew I must be patient. I must not push. I must not be anxious. I must want to reach Brahman, but I must not try to grasp for it. It would come when things were ready. One day, I remembered what I had seen in the forest. I called the team together and told them what I had understood. Everything has two sides. I suddenly felt that the signal we were measuring and using was incomplete. Could the signal have another side? If so, how could we identify it? We must try to find the other side of the signal. This would connect us to Brahman.

For months the team designed experiments to help locate and measure the other side of the signal but since we did not know what it was, we did not know how to measure it. One day, I had another thought. If we were going to find the other side of the signal, we needed a device that measured the whole wave, not just another side. For years we had been looking at only a part of the signal. Our initial focus had been to look for the other part. This was the wrong approach. We needed to change our perspective to identifying and measuring the whole signal, not just another part of it. I remembered the river in the forest. It was a flow. A river flowed because there was a differential in the height of the water at the beginning and end. For the signal stream to flow from Brahman there must be a differential. The answer lay in identifying what made the signal flow. The team studied the part of the signal we knew and created a model that identified the characteristics of the rest of the signal based on the need to create differential and flow. Now that we had a principle to work with, things moved ahead more quickly. Within a year, we had identified the complementary characteristics to the existing signal and were close to creating a second measuring device that would be capable of measuring the whole signal. We made a few last modifications and testing began.

The results were in within a few days. There it was, the whole signal. It had been there all the time and we had missed it. We had been looking at only half of the message. The team was excited and work went ahead at lightning speed to test all of the species we tested in the first experiments thirteen years ago. Tests were assigned to teams around the country. Within three months, the evidence was clear. All species had a complete signal. This was big news. Finally, we had made a breakthrough. We prepared a report and released our latest findings. There was a flurry of news and excitement for a short time. Then things returned to normal except in the lab.

We now had the tool we needed. We had the whole signal, which was much more complex than what we had ever imagined to play into the communication device as we did earlier. There was an increased level of excitement as we shifted our efforts back to communicating with Brahman. I recorded my whole signal and prepared to repeat the last experiment. It had been some time since anyone had tried to establish communications with Brahman, so there was some concern within the team about how long it would take to establish a connection. I was more excited than I had been for years. I felt the answer had been shown to us and I was ready for the breakthrough. I scheduled the next experiment for late night to avoid disturbances. The telepathic machine, which had been improved over the last couple of years, was ready. I started the experiment with the whole sound playing. It helped me to quiet my mind in no time at all. The full signal was making a difference and added a new dimension to the process. No longer did I see my mind as silent. I saw my mind contained both silence and thoughts but somehow they were harmonized by the whole signal. They acted in a new way that created a totally different kind of quiet in the mind. I told my colleagues later it was a fuller quiet, if that made any sense.

As I rose up to higher levels of my mind, I noted other differences. The signals of light I saw but did not understand were full of meaning. The silent messages were pregnant with knowledge that I had earlier missed. At the border of my mind, I knew for sure I would contact Brahman. Suddenly, I passed beyond the highest known part of my mind. I was out of mind. I knew all. I did not need to think — I knew without thought. I understood Brahman, the signals and the meaning of Existence. I had found the answer. My team watched throughout the night. They knew not to disturb me. They understood from my earlier experiences that I might take some time to awake, especially if a connection was established with Brahman. They waited and felt sure that I was safe. I remained connected to Brahman for four days. I had not eaten or slept. When I awoke, I was fresh. I was not hungry. I was different. I was.

Third Day of Class

My morning classes went by so slowly. I was only thinking about Legend class. I was anxious to hear what other students felt about Seeker’s notes and to hear if everyone else had the same questions I did. I finished my lunch and went to class early. Mr. Vidya was there already, even though class did not start for thirty minutes. He was going over some papers, so I sat down and started to read Seeker’s Notebook one more time. He looked up and greeted me. I expected him to go back to his papers, but instead he asked me how I was enjoying the class. I said it was exciting. Seeker had captured my interest. I said I had made a list of questions and was excited to hear how he would answer them. He smiled. I told him I was planning to come to the exhibit next Saturday and I would bring the signed form tomorrow. I asked him how many students would be going. He said he was not sure, but he did not expect more than six. I was surprised. I thought more of my friends would come. I sat and reviewed my questions before class while he continued to read papers.

Class began exactly as it had from the first day. Mr. Vidya asked a question. This time his question was quite interesting. He asked us to think about the things in Seeker’s notes that were most disturbing to us. I never expected this question, but I was ready. I had a list of ideas but I waited to let others speak, as I was anxious to see what they would say.

Beth Cummings said she was really disturbed by the idea of quieting her mind. She said she had tried it last night and found it impossible. She said no matter what she tried, there were always words in her head. She was always talking to herself, asking herself questions or thinking about something that had happened during the day. She could not understand how Seeker was able to quiet his mind. She said it was disturbing to her because she felt if she quieted her mind it would make her feel terribly empty or hollow. She said she felt frightened by the idea because she wondered if her mind was quiet, whether she would still be there. Everyone including Beth laughed. Mr. Vidya smiled along with the class. Then, he said that Beth’s observation was good. “We are so used to hearing thoughts in our mind that we feel it is normal. We think we are our thoughts. Giving up thoughts and ideas can be very disturbing to many people. Quieting all thoughts in your mind is like locking yourself in a closet for a day with no light on. What could you do in that condition but face the quiet? Many of us do not feel comfortable in quiet,” he said.

“Anyone else with an idea of what disturbed them the most?” asked Mr. Vidya.

Dick Davis said his feeling was similar to Beth’s. He said when he read Seeker had been connected to the machine, seeing light or feeling silence for hours at a time, it disturbed him. “I am not good at sitting for a long time, so it would be a problem for me. But to sit there for eight hours with lights flashing in my mind followed by periods of silence would make me crazy. Seeker, on the other hand, appeared to enjoy it. He seemed to be at home in these conditions. I admired his courage each time he tried to go deeper into his mind. I would be afraid I might not come out.”

Lee Coleman spoke next. He said he was most disturbed by Seeker’s description of his first contact with Brahman. “When he said he went beyond his mind and found Brahman, I wondered if he had gone mad,” Lee said. “Seeker writes the experience was wonderful, but when I tried to imagine going outside of my mind, I wondered what would happen. Would I still be there or would I disappear? I understand why most of his friends did not have the same experiences he did. I am sure many of them were just like me. They were afraid, so they held themselves back, rather than take the chances Seeker did.”

Mr. Vidya had listened carefully to each student. He said their observations were good. “Most of us are not used to what is inside of us. Most of us spend our time looking out not in,” he said. “Most people find ways to keep themselves busy and distracted with things in their lives, so they do not have to deal with what is inside.” He said in this way Seeker was very different. He had no reservation about facing his inner life and discovering its mysteries. “If any of us want to follow Seeker, we must also be willing to know and master our inner nature.”

Mr. Vidya asked another question. “What did you read about Seeker’s experiences that you liked most?” When no one answered, I spoke up. “There were a few experiences that were really special. First was when Seeker wandered off into the jungle with the monk and spent a month living in total silence. It was amazing to me he felt a wider connection with things and was able to go with the flow without worry or concern about what others thought. Next was the awakening to Brahman he had in his mind or wherever it was. I never had such a feeling but it sounded magical. I felt a bit frightened when he talked about going outside of his mind, but the way he felt when he made the connection thrilled me. I felt like I was there with him though I am not sure I have the courage to jump out of my mind.”

Mr. Vidya thought for a moment and said, “Seeker was like an astronaut. Astronauts train and then get in a ship and fly into space. They go to the moon or beyond and find the silence of outer space. Seeker launched himself in a different type of ship, which took him into inner space. There he discovered the meaning of existence. How many of you would like to be astronauts?” he asked. About five students raised their hands. “How many of you would like to be inner astronauts, after reading Seeker’s notes?” he continued. No one raised their hand.

Mr. Vidya waited a few minutes. The class was quiet. He asked the class if they would like to try to quiet their minds. More than half the class raised their hands. He said there were many techniques, but for class he would stick with a basic approach. First, he asked us to sit up straight in our chairs. Then, he asked us to close our eyes. After we had closed our eyes, he asked us to relax. Then, he asked us to take five deep breaths. Then suddenly, he rang a bell. It produced a melodious sound. He asked us to listen to and feel the sound. Finally, he asked us to follow the sound as it expanded out into the room till the sound ended.

The sound was so rich it made me feel relaxed. It was deep and clear. I was surprised how long it lasted. As it began to fade, I followed it. Suddenly, my mind was still. There were no thoughts. My breathing fell into a quiet rhythm. I felt like I had when I had a high fever a few years ago. I was in a very quiet state of disconnection from the outer world. It was pleasant. I felt like I had been in this space for just a few minutes, but when I opened my eyes everyone had left for the next class except Mr. Vidya. I had not heard any noise or movement. When everyone got up and moved their chairs and started talking as they left the room, it had not disturbed me. I was quiet inside and it felt good. Mr. Vidya smiled. I saw the clock. I had been sitting for thirty minutes. He asked if I was ok. I said I was fine. He waited as I gathered my shoulder bag. He walked me to my next class and told the teacher that he had kept me for some extra credit work. My teacher asked me to take my seat. I thanked Mr. Vidya and he left.

That night on the way home from school, everyone was talking about Legend class. Everyone felt Mr. Vidya was making the class quite interesting. Everyone wanted to know how everyone else felt when he rang the bell. Each one of us seemed to have had a different experience. I felt like I understood a little more about Seeker and his colleagues and how everyone had different experiences when they tried the device. We had done exactly the same thing and yet we all experienced something different. Martha was quiet as usual until we reached my house. Then, she stopped and asked me if we could talk for a minute. I said sure. She waited for our friends to leave, then, she looked me in the eye and asked, “What happened in class today?”

I tried to tell her what had happened. “When the sound came to an end I saw a quiet space in my mind. I forced myself to be calm even though I felt nervous, then I entered it. I found myself in a space filled with quiet, which I enjoyed.” I told her I thought I was there only a minute, but when I opened my eyes I had been gone for more than thirty minutes. She asked if I was ok. I said I was fine. Then, I asked her what she had felt. She said she had been unable to get rid of the voices in her mind just like Beth had described. I did not know what to say. We stared at each other for a moment and she hesitantly asked, “Did you see Brahman?” I smiled. I assured her I had seen nothing and I was still the same guy she had known since kindergarten. She smiled and walked toward her house, which was just across the street. I waited till she went in, as it was dark. I know she wanted me to wait.

When I went in my mother was on the phone. I went upstairs and thought of reading the next section of Seeker’s notes. I still felt a sense of quiet in my head. I sat at my desk and tried to get myself to study as I had test and a lot of homework. I thought I was studying. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. My mother had come in and was sitting on the bed next to me. I realized I was not studying. Instead I had been staring at my books for more than a half an hour.

My mother smiled. “Are you ok?” she asked. I said “Sure. I am just a little tired after school.” She didn’t say anything. She waited. “Would you like to eat early? Dad is going to be late. He has a meeting and won’t be home until 11:00 pm.” I said I was ready to eat whenever it was ready, but I was not very hungry right now. “Ok. Why don’t you come down and study in the kitchen while I make dinner?” she asked. I sensed she was concerned about something and asked what was on her mind. She smiled and said, “So you caught me.” I laughed. She told me that Mr. Vidya had called and so had Martha. “They told me about your experience in class and wanted me to make sure you were ok.” “I’m fine mother,” I replied. “Mr. Vidya conducted an experiment in class and I fell into a deep quiet, which lasted for more than thirty minutes. Since then, I am not able to concentrate. I feel fine, just a little out of focus, if you understand what I mean.” She said she did. She told me when she was in school her teacher did the same experiment. She had also disappeared for half an hour, so she knew exactly what I was feeling. She assured me I would be back to my normal self in a few hours. She said if I wanted to shake the feeling, I could take a shower and it would go away. I said I would take a cold shower and be down for dinner in a few minutes. She got up and left. As soon as I stepped into the cold shower, I was startled and back to normal. I felt fresh and alert not from the cold water but from the quiet in my mind.

My mother and I ate dinner together. She asked me how I liked the Legend class and my teacher. I told her I was thoroughly enjoying the class. I said Mr. Vidya was not telling us a lot about Seeker. He was asking us to read and think about him and his ideas. Then he was asking us a lot of questions about what we had read. We were learning more through our discussions than from his teaching. I liked his style of teaching. She said he sounds like a good teacher. As I was leaving the room, she handed me the signed form for the field trip to the University.

I went to my room, finished my homework and prepared for a test. Martha called around 9:00 pm and we talked for a while. She said her parents had signed the form, so she would be going to the exhibition. I told her that my mother could drop us at the university by 9:00 am. She said her parents might be able to pick us up by 6:00 pm when it was over. Somewhat hesitantly she asked how I was. I told her my mother had suggested a cold shower and I was back to normal.

I still had to read Seeker’s notes. It was late when I finished. He had changed a lot over the past fifteen years. He had found Brahman and he was struggling to tell us about his discovery. I enjoyed what I read but it did not stick in my mind. I felt I could not hold it in my mind. It was frustrating, as I wanted to know what it was all about. There were only a few pages in this section but they were more complicated than the earlier sections. They required greater attention. I read them through twice, and was glad I had a free period before class, so I could reread them again. My mother came in around eleven and asked me if I was ok. I said everything was fine. I was tired and was going to sleep.

book | by Dr. Radut