751. God’s Grace

God's grace comes as moksha to the yogi. The pious householder finds it in his earthly endowments. God's ways are mysterious. He is munificent, but does not always express it as the bhakta desires it. Sri Aurobindo came to Pondicherry in 1910, guided by his inner voice. Along with a few friends, he lived in the house of Sankara Chetty, a patriot. It was for six months. Then he was to move and live in a rented house. The rent was Rs. 35. It was his responsibility to run that household of four or five people. His main expense was the cost of books he was buying from Bombay and their maintenance. He was himself God. Once in answering a question on whether he ever prayed, he asked, "To whom should I pray?" As a way of speaking, he was often referring to God and His ways. His money resources often ran out. He wrote to a friend for money and said, "God has a bad habit of not sending any money till I reach the last half a rupee."

God who gives without stint, suddenly stops. Tradition says it is a test. Sri Aurobindo has no belief in such tests.  He has other names for it. In His epic poem Savitri, Yama was confronted by her and ultimately he was to yield Satyavan. In the course of her victory, Savitri turned the Lord of Darkness into a being of light, thus abolishing Death from universal life in the subtle plane. Now her mission was successfully completed. She was the daughter of Surya, come to earth to redeem it from darkness and death. In her spiritual journey, since the death of Satyavan, the Mother of Love, the Mother of Might, etc. rose from inside her and offered her all heavenly boons. She walked past them saying they were all portions of her soul, not the SOUL. She could not accept those earthly or heavenly boons, as She was to live on earth for its redemption, not retire into the cosy comfort of heaven. Now God again offered her and Satyavan heavenly Bliss. What was she to do? Why was He doing it detracting her from her mission? She again refused and opted to remain on earth to fulfil her divine mission of redeeming earthly life.

It is the experience of devotees that as years pass, one after the other of their earlier desires come true. Sometimes forgotten ambitions come to life. Whatever Man prays for, God gives him only what man now desires and desired in the past. He who has unfulfilled desires, conscious or subconscious, cannot be a true instrument of God. To be an instrument of God, desire in any form should have dissolved. Ramalinga Swamigal wrote a poem of that description. A devotee unable to control his sex urge lapsed and was in despair. Siva appeared before him and said his desires remained unfulfilled and it was good for him to quench them. He brought two girls for that purpose and offered them to the devotee, says the poem. God's ways are truly mysterious. Man surrenders his life to God. Others give up their money. Some do so with their work or soul. It is not enough. Mother says the true children of God give up their life, work, wealth and soul. Others, She says, are valueless ciphers for the Divine. To know Her is luck and grace. To become a child of Mother is Supergrace on earth.